One liners...

I'm not fluent in IDIOT, So please speak slowly and clearly

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong

I think , Therefore we have nothing in common

Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you."

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list

I hear voices and they don't like you

Those who laugh last thinks slowest

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

It's a catastrophic success.