50 more Jack bauer facts.....

1. Ordinary people have panic attacks. Chuck Norris has Jack Bauer's attacks!
2. Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Jack Bauer
3. If Jack Bauer was Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
4. There was no best man at Jack Bauer's wedding, Jack Bauer is always the best man.
5. When Chuck Norris and Superman have sleep overs, they argue over who has the cooler Jack Bauer Pajamas...
6. Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget all the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.
7. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
8. Jack Bauer doesn't need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs.
9.Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
10.The Boogieman checks his closet for Jack Bauer
11. After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.
12. Jack Bauer doesn't drink honey, he chews bees.
13. Jack Bauer's cell phone never runs out of battery because the cell phone doesnt want to be mistaken for helping the terrorist.
14.Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.
15.Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
16. Jack Bauer doesn't read a book. He tortures it until he has all the information he needs.
17. Jack Bauer doesn't dodge bullets. Bullets dodge Jack Bauer.
18. Jack Bauer doesn't cut his grass, he stares at it and dares it to grow.
19. Jack Bauer can divide by zero.
20. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
21. Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
22.Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
23. Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places.
24. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
25. Jack Bauer refused a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket
26. Jack Bauer does not run out of ammunition. He simply lets everyone else have their moment to shine.
27. there is no such thing as a lesbian. just people who have not met jack bauer.
28. once Jack had the hiccups. He then put a pistol in his mouth and fired. the hiccups have yet to return
29. Jack Bauer doesn't need a translator, torture sounds the same in every language.
30. Kryptonite is not really from Krypton. It is made from Jack Bauer's crap, that is why it can kill Superman.
31. Harry Houdini is the world's second greatest escape artist. The First is Jack Bauer. I never saw Houdini bite a guy's neck in order to escape.
32.Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
33.Jack Bauer wears aviator sunglasses as a courtesy to the Sun so it doesn't have to look into his eyes.
34.There's a reason why getting your car stolen is referred to as being "Jacked."
35. Jack Bauer does the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle on Saturdays. In pen.
36.Jack Bauer doesn't follow protocol. Protocol follows Jack Bauer.
37.You can't talk to Jack because: he can't talk now. He'll explain later.
38. When Jack Bauer looks in the mirror, his reflection has to look away.
39. During a particularly intense interrogation session, Jack Bauer actually killed a man with his bare eyes.
40.when jack bauer cuts onions, the onions cry
41. Jack Bauer doesn't have a shadow. He noticed that the shadow was sneaking on him and Jack tortured it to death.
42. Popeye eats spinich and throws the can away. Jack Bauer throws the spinich away and eats the can.
43. Jack Bauer can un-scramble an egg
44.jack bauer didn't cry when he was born. but Chuck norris did.
45.Jack Bauer's tears cure cancer...It's too bad Jack doesn't cry
46.When Jack Bauer does a press-up, he isn't pushing himself up....he's pushing the world down.
47.Jack Bauer can make an omelette without breaking any eggs.
48. It takes Jack Bauer 13 minutes to watch 88 minutes.
49. When Jack Bauer was born the doctor tried to slap his ass, but Jack caught his hand and broke his arm in 24 places.
50. In the morning, Jack Bauer doesn't shave, he must kick himself in the face repeatedly. Jack bauer is the only thing hard enough to cut Jack Bauer.